Why were we never taught anything about what will happen in perimenopause or the menopause cycle? The only thing I knew was when you become a middle aged women and hit menopause, you were done having your periods. I feel like they hid the truth about the psychical pain and psychological changes that happen.
At first things seem normal
As a middle aged woman with a teenage daughter in the house, we could track our cycles together. I always knew my period would come within a few days of hers. It had been that way for years. But then perimenopause hit and things started changing…
Perimenopause and Pain
At first the frequency was the same, but suddenly, I was experiencing debilitating cramps. The kind I had never experienced in my entire life. I took my ibuprofen and would curl up on the couch wanting to cry. It got so bad that I went to the doctor’s office for help. They examined me and the first thing they wanted to do was put me on birth control pills. They said it would help with the pain.
Are you crazy??? I am 48 years old, a smoker, and had already had a minor heart attack!
My entire adult life I was told birth control pills after age 45 was dangerous to your heart and health. Being a smoker (I know, I know. I need to quit.) made the danger much worse. What was my doctor thinking? She wanted me to take a daily pill that I was previously told was dangerous for older women.
I told her I did not feel safe doing that. After that, she told me there was nothing else they could suggest to help me. I felt lost, but what else could I do? So, I dealt with the pain.
From pain to floods!
The pain continued every month for years. Then there were more changes.
I had always been one of those blessed women that my period only lasted three (3) days. And my flow was mild. Next thing I knew, I went from using light tampons to ultra tampons that I was changing every hour for ten days straight. What the Hell!
Again, I went to my doctor. And again was told there was nothing they could do to help me. What I was going through was just part of what all women my age went through. They told me it would eventually pass and I would be done with my periods all together. This royally Pissed me off!
Nothing to see here. Everything is Normal
Every month I was in extreme pain, and my clothes were getting destroyed with clots and gushes. But all my tests were normal, and this was just the natural course of events for this stage of life. And they kept telling me there was nothing they could do to make it easier for me. Grrrr!
But as we women do, we persevere. We deal with it and move on. Because our little inconvenience was no excuse to stop working, to stop being a mom, and to stop making sure everything else we dealt with was taken care of. So, that is what I did. I just dealt with it and I continued to deal with it.
Frequency Fluctuations
Now, it is all changing again. My frequency has changed. Sometimes I can go for two or three months without a period. (YAY!!!) Other times I might go for two or three weeks in between cycles. There is no rhyme or reason to it. But there is absolutely no way to be prepared for when or how it will happen.
It is no longer just the heavy flow and cramps. It may be that, or I may end up with my period lasting for two weeks or longer, at barely a trickle. There is nothing more annoying than non-stop spotting. But I cannot go without a tampon or pad because I never know if I am going to pass a clot or a surprise gush. Gross, by the way!
Will it sprinkle, or will it flood?
So, every few months, I never know if I am going to feel like I am bleeding to death, or if I am going to have one of those annoying cycles that acts like a papercut on your knuckle. You know the kind. Like, just when you think it is going to stop bleeding and heal, you bend your finger the wrong way and it starts bleeding all over again.
I have decided that perimenopause is like the weather. You never know when it will change. And you never know whether it will be a sprinkle that lasts for weeks, or a deluge that will cause flooding and damage.
Why were we not taught this in health class?
Why were we never taught anything about what will happen in perimenopause or the menopause cycle? The only thing I knew was when you hit menopause, you were done having your periods. I feel like they hide the truth about what it takes to get across that finish line.
I do not blame my mother for not telling me about perimenopause. When she was going through the change, I was a young mother and dealing with the craziness of newborns and toddlers. Now, when I am going through it, she is at the age where her memory is not what it used to be. I have asked her, but she cannot remember any of it. And unfortunately, I was raised where we do not talk about this kind of stuff with anyone.
I almost wish there were health classes for middle-aged women, so we could be informed about what this stage of life involves. God knows most doctors are useless when it comes to this stuff. And of course, modern medicine is more concerned about men getting their little blue pills to keep their willie happy than with the complete and utter physical and psychological changes women go through.
Stay Mean and Menopausal!
There are more changes in store for me, but as usual, I will just have to figure it out as I go. Hopefully, my stories can help women and the medical field to talk more about this stage of life.
Silence got us here. Let us not stay silent so our daughters will be aware of what they are in for. Share your experiences so we can help prevent the next generation of women from going into this blind like we had to.
Stay Mean and Menopausal my friends!
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